A Trip To The Dave Depot
by Naoshiro
Summary: John and Jade visit Dave at The Dave Depot, a place the young Strider put up using the extra boonbonds he had left over from the game. Basically an attempt to ship all the characters I can ship with Dave and his clones plus Davesprite. First few pairings would be DaveJade and DavespriteJohn. Rated T for now.


**A Trip To The Dave Depot**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Homestuck.**

**Pairings:** DaveXJade and DavespriteXJohn for the first few chapters, and basically almost everyone else is eventually going to be shipped with a Dave clone (except for RoseXKanaya. It'll be a ship I'd never break). I have this urge to just do all the pairings I can manage with at least one Dave in it. (yes, that means I'm even considering Dave clone X Dave clone. *waggles eyebrows*)

**Warning:** At least one swear word. And some homosexuality, which I feel obligated to warn you about in case you're not actually comfortable with said subject matter. o-o

**Note(s):** Italicized text is either for emphasis or for character thoughts. Asterisks may be found in some chapters, which means I might attach little notes that explain things at the end of a chapter. Bold text is for commands, character actions, and emphasis. The arrow symbol "==" (two equal signs followed by a greater-than sign [see, the greater-than sign doesn't even show up orz]) does not show up when I saw the preview of this chapter, so I left it out. The horizontal lines and the bold text may signify the presence of the arrow symbol.

* * *

**Chapter 1: First Time At The Dave Depot**

Your name is JOHN EGBERT and you are 18 years old.

You are technically old enough to go to The Dave Depot, a place its owner had declared to be off-limits to individuals not old enough to be deemed responsible for owning Dave clones. You find it ironic how the owner himself, Dave Strider, was barely seventeen when this rundown warehouse was tricked out and redecorated to be the place that it is today. You even admire Dave for his bravado; the only reason why his business of selling clones was considered legitimate is because he defeated the Insane Clown Posse, also known as the dual-presidents of the United States, in mortal combat. You gotta respect the dude for that.

**John: Walk around.**

You wander the aisles of this strange establishment called The Dave Depot for the first time in your life. It looked like any other normal department store at first glance. There's a network of pipes, wires and tubes all leading to the first five aisles and branching out between the lights and all across the ceiling like intricate webbing. Sick beats pump through the well-hidden speaker system, just at the right volume. Employees who all look exactly like Dave walk around the area doing what a member of a normal market employee community should like clean-up, security, or customer service. The cool air from the air conditioning units smell faintly of apples. You look down the first aisle, starting the search for Jade Harley.

Aisles 1 to 5 are lined with Dave clones, each of them standing in frosted glass cubicles. The only way to see the clones inside without opening their pod-like compartment is to look through the clear glass permitting a view of their heads.

**John: Look closely.**

When you look closely, the well-frosted glass cubicle walls hint that the clones weren't wearing anything but the sunglasses perched on the bridge of their noses, concealing their eyes. That fact makes your cheeks redden despite yourself.

**John: Stop blushing.**

You? Blushing? Bluh, as if!

You continue to convince yourself that you are NOT A HOMOSEXUAL, especially not a homosexual for your dudebro Dave Strider, though a tiny voice in your head says it's not working. You choose to ignore that tiny voice the way you've always been ignoring it for the past five years.

You walk out of the fifth aisle, looking to your right, then to your left. You frown. You have been zigzagging through the first five Dave-lined aisles or so and still haven't found Jade. Instead, you set your eyes upon a cardboard cut-out of Sweet Bro with a speech bubble saying, "There's always a kind of Dave for everyone!" and one of Hella Jeff with a speech bubble saying "I warned you about stairs bro! I told you dog!", in all caps. The latter is probably free advertising for the SBAHJ comics Dave was still working on.

**John: Look somewhere else.**

The next few aisles have duplicates of Dave's stuff. Aisle 6 for different sunglasses, aisles 7-9 for numerous copies of his favourite shirts, aisle 10 for black jeans and underwear, and aisle 11 for pairs of red canvas sneakers. You notice how all of the items mentioned are available in one size only. You briefly wonder if Dave even considered his clones losing or gaining weight. Or maybe growing. _'Do his clones even continue to grow or age?'_ you mull over the thought silently.

**John: Go back to aisle 10.**

After looking at your current clothes (a spade shirt, cargo shorts, and your worn-out sneakers), you go back to aisle 10, making a beeline for the nearest pair of pants. You look at the tag attached and grimace. A size smaller than yours, even if it was affordable.

**John: Resist the urge to throw the pants to the ground, and prevent taking a step up the echeladder to the fitting title of "The Lonely Island-worthy"*.**

You remind yourself that you are not here to purchase anything. You put the skinny jeans back on the rack and make your way to the next aisles.

**John: Keep reminding yourself of things.**

You also remind yourself that you are looking for Jade since she took off with your phone. Why she needed to use your phone when she had hers, you didn't know. Hers probably ran out of juice, you think.

Jade had run off through one of aisles when you weren't looking while shouting "DAAAAVE! :D" in her peppy tone, startling some of the other customers within earshot. You think she spotted the _real _Dave Strider among the rows and rows of clones that give this establishment its name. You sigh, wishing you hadn't been distracted by a flatscreen showing a video clip entitled "How Sh*t Goes Down In The Dave Depot", which is a short clip featuring the production of Dave clones.

You smile despite feeling a bit weary from all the walking (gog, these aisles were long), somehow happy that you were no longer the only ectobiologist around. Dave somehow got his hands on an Appearifier, as seen in the video. You make a mental note to ask Dave where he got it later.

* * *

Your name is DAVE STRIDER. You are the owner of The Dave Depot, a lucrative business you founded more than a year ago using the boonbonds you had left from the game. With all you clones you generated, you had more than enough manpower to run your establishment the way you want it. After all, if you want work done, you gotta do it yourself. You've got scores of selves and counting, serving as either your employees or your products for sale.

Defeating the Insane Clown Posse, the dual-presidents of the United States, gave you the basic right to establish your business as a legitimate one. Well, you're not entirely sure about the legitimacy of it. No one has raised a hand against you or your business. Yet. But if the police, lawyers, or juggalos finally come to serve your ass on a silver platter to a judge who'd most probably proclaim you guilty, you'd be prepared to face it the way you know best.

With a testament rap describing the reign of terror brought about by the Insane Clown Posse and how killing them was doing the whole world a favor.

You think about it for a few more seconds before deciding that this is stupid.

You're sure you're not doing it with rap. You'd face it with a sword in hand.

Speaking of swords, you end up wandering into the aisle full of them. There are decent duplicates of the unbroken ones you do own, and the rest actually _were _yours. You're just hoping someone else would buy your shitty swords off you. A few guys were checking out the katanas available and you hear them talking about a convention being held a month from now.

You pick one broken sword off the rack and silently appreciate half of its polished blade as the customers left the aisle. You hope that someone else would find half a sword as useful as you have. There's always a Dave clone out there with the same Strife Specibus that would benefit from it.

"DAAAAVE! :D" Jade's all-too-familiar voice rang throughout the nearby aisles.

Jade Harley appeared at the end of the sword aisle. Her tousled jet-black hair fell in waves around her slim figure while you notice her jade green eyes (yes, you know you intended that pun) sparkle in delight through her clear round glasses. Even in just a white long-sleeved atom shirt and a long gray buttoned skirt, she looked pretty in a nerdy way, you suppose.

Jade smiles that endearing bucktoothed smile that doesn't fail to make your heart skip a beat before running to you, tackling you to the floor and knocking the sword out of your hands in the process.

"Yo," you say. "I got your message, but why'd you use John's phone?" you tilt your head a bit as she sat up on your stomach.

"Mine ran out of juice while I was talking to Rose," she took out John's phone and pressing buttons furiously. You roll your eyes behind your sunglasses. Typical. Your sister, ever the snarky broad, was probably telling Jade about what she dubs your "therapy sessions" whenever you catch each other online, much to your chagrin. Your gaze falls back on Jade, worrying her lip with her buckteeth as her eyebrows were knit in concentration. She was probably deleting her conversation with you from her brother's message history.

You remember the text she sent you so you ask "So what did you want to talk to me about?".

"Dave, I wanted to talk to you about Davesprite," she said, not looking up from John's phone.

You stare blankly at the ceiling for a second or two before opening your mouth for a reply. "Oh, right. Sure. Jade, could you get off me first, please?"

As much as you like having Jade within reach and as much as you need to start talking to Jade about Davesprite, it would be bad for business if customers get the wrong idea upon seeing both of you in your current positions.

Before she could even start moving off you, you hear a surprised, familiar, and very audible gasp.

'_Welp, too late,' _you think.

**John: Defend Jade.**

The scene just prompts you to gasp audibly that you almost coughed your lungs out after the sudden intake of apple-scented cool air. You run to them and pull Jade to your person, shielding her away from the fiend as you look over your shoulder at him while he dusted his Four Aces Suited tux like nothing had happened.

**Dave: Dismiss John's behaviour as "overprotective brother" behaviour.**

**Jade: Protest before John starts to aggrieve Dave.**

"John, let me go! Dave wasn't assaulting me or anything!" you frantically explain as you tried to brush off John's constricting grip on your arm. John kept shooting glares at Dave and worried faces at you.

"Yeah, Egbert. No need to do any acrobatic fucking pirouette off the handle. If anything, Jade was the one assaulting me. Tackling me to the ground and sitting on me," Dave added. You could tell he was kidding by the way he was half-smirking and half-smiling.

"Ha ha, Dave," you roll your eyes.

**John: Let her go.**

And you indeed let her arm go, seeing that there was no harm done. You stop glaring at Dave.

**Jade: Return John's phone.**

"Here," you grumble as you hand the device back to your brother and step to Dave's side.

"Pssst. Dave. Meet me at aisle 1. Let's talk there," you whisper.

Dave only gave a slight, barely-noticeable nod of acknowledgement.

You abscond.

**Dave: Flash-step outta there.**

John was too busy finding out what Jade did to his phone to notice them leave the sword aisle.

* * *

**Be Jade Harley.**

Both of you sit down on the floor in the middle of the aisle. Dave looks at you expectantly through his sunglasses. You take a deep breath before speaking.

"I gotta be honest. I'm worried about Davesprite. I know he had things to work out on his own even if he doesn't tell me anything about his most personal problems. And I know that he and I already broke up and all, but not even letting me know the reason for our breakup is bothering me, Dave. He just. Broke up with me out of the blue," _and I just let him go…_

You continued. "It's not just because you and I are together that I needed to clear up things between us and your alternate timeline self. I thought… I thought I could talk to you about it since he's a Dave Strider, only he's from a different timeline, has wings, and says _caw_ sometimes. I figured you'd be the one to understand his position the most," you blurt out.

You're very sure that your face is red right now. It's not an easy topic to bring up with Dave of all people, within one week of your relationship even. But you gotta do what you gotta do now that he's your boyfriend.

Dave's mouth only opened and closed repeatedly. You figure he's having a hard time trying to figure out what to say, so you continue talking.

"I've been talking to Rose about this for quite a while. Pretty much explains why my phone's dead right now," you frown as an uneasy feeling settled in your gut. At the moment, you can't bring yourself to meet those ruby red eyes through his sunglasses.

"She told me to talk to Davesprite and ask him for an explanation. I haven't seen him ever since he broke up with me before I could even say anything. He just… flew off the ship two years ago and never came back, Dave. I figured you might know where he'd be. Or maybe you can tell me why he decided to do this" _to me. To __**us. **_

Dave still didn't speak. The silence was suffocating. You're starting to regret taking the conversation to the Dave clone aisle. You feel like every Dave clone present is leering at you from their pods, even if Dave had already explained to you over dinner a few nights ago that they aren't conscious of external stimuli until they are activated when purchased.

Dave straightened his back and folded his arms behind his head as he leaned against the cool glass of the pod behind him. You gather enough courage to look at his face. His eyebrows were knit, and you hope he isn't disappointed in you.

"Davesprite. He… Actually, he was here about half an hour ago. I don't know if he left already or anything. Last I saw him was at The Bargain Bin." Dave cleared his throat.

You start to stand up to go find Davesprite, but the sound of Dave's voice stopped you.

"Jade, if you do get to hear his reason as to why he broke up with you, would you get back together with him?"

You stand up straight and look back at Dave, but he keeps his gaze focused on a clone pod in front of him.

You turn your back to him. "No," you reply tersely. "Of course not. I'm over the breakup, that much I can tell. But I just want to stop wondering why he left me without letting me have my say in it, Dave. I _need _closure. I'm not doing this to get back together with him." You take a few steps forward before speaking again. "Try to have a little more faith in me, Dave."

You start your search for your ex-boyfriend.

You don't look back.

* * *

**Be John Egbert.**

Once you looked up from your phone, both Jade and Dave are gone. You sigh, but you don't want to try looking for them now. They're probably having sloppy makeouts somewhere and you _do not _want to see that. You put the phone in the pocket of your cargo shorts and decide to explore the rest of the establishment. The areas open to the public, you mean. You pass by a Dave clone bending to pick up half a sword on the floor as you leave the aisle.

You only take a few seconds to glance at the next aisles. The next aisles weren't much of a surprise to you. A random mix of music CDs, old vinyl records and cassette tapes all under a giant "FOR MASHUPS" sign. Turntables, sound systems, audio mixers, and other DJ equipment. Apple juice. Doritos. Shampoos, conditioners, deodorants, colognes, and soaps.

The next thing you knew, you already arrived at the last aisle. You think the aisle had a weird name, judging by the plastic placard with plain red text hanging from the ceiling.

"The Bargain Bin," you read out loud. You find it strange how it isn't an actual bin but a whole aisle of things on discount.

You slowly walk through it, letting your eyes wander from one item to another. Some of the items were probably defective, like some of the turntables and several pairs of iShades that don't glow anymore. Smuppets occupied quite a large portion of The Bargain Bin, their plush rumps jutting out as they lined the shelves. But most of the items were damaged, like occupied clone pods with cracked glass or ripped pants only someone confident enough to show some leg would wear. You wonder if the Dave clones in the damaged pods were also defective somehow.

You almost reach the end of The Bargain Bin when your gaze falls upon a familiar orange sprite floating at the very end of the aisle with a price tag around his neck. Your eyes widen.

"Davesprite?"

* * *

**Chapter Note(s):**

*I'm making a reference to The Lonely Island's "Threw It On The Ground" music video I came across on YouTube.

**Author's Note(s):**

TENSES (in this chapter) ARE A PAIN IN THE BUTT. OTL I might change up my writing style for the following chapters. Trying to replicate the way Homestuck commands were done (like in the first act where we play as John) was hard for me. I'm doing it my way next time. D:

So lol that concludes the first chapter of my first attempt to ship Dave with everyone. Well, almost everyone. Davesprite's still a Dave in my book. o-o **criticism and ****reviews are very much welcome. XD** truth be told, this is an experiment to see if the whole Dave Depot idea would work out how I imagined it in my head. orz


End file.
